I Did It to Myself

[ Lyrics ]

I said 'it’s fine' too many times…

…trained you not to choose me.

I smiled when you texted 'running late' at nine,
my dinner cold, my lipstick still aligned.
You said 'you’re not mad, right?' — I shook my head,
went back to my notes like the night wasn’t dead.
I saved you the seat, the joke, the glow,
the softest light, the perfect throw.
But never asked what I gave up —
just said, 'It’s cool,' and filled the cup.

And I wonder if you knew…
every 'it’s fine' was really 'please, choose you.'
I made it easy to leave me on read —
held your space like it was sacred.

I did it to myself — didn’t draw the line.
Let you in every time, even when it wasn’t mine to give.
I did it to myself — played the easy role.
Never said no, so you never had to choose.

Canceled my weekend for a 'maybe' from you.
Showed up to parties where your eyes scanned through.
Laughed at your jokes 'bout your 'crazy ex,'
while I became the next one in your text rotation next.
I waved off the red flags like they were smoke,
let you call me 'chill' like it was a token of hope.
Didn’t name the hurt — kept it thin, polite.
Now I see the truth in that one word: 'tonight?'

And I wonder if you knew…
every 'I’m good' meant 'I’m missing you.'
I made forgiveness cheap and fast —
so you never learned how to last.

I did it to myself — didn’t draw the line.
Let you in every time, even when it wasn’t mine to give.
I did it to myself — played the easy role.
Never said no, so you never had to choose.

It wasn’t just you…
I taught you how to leave.
Turned my silence into proof
that I’d always believe.
You didn’t break me — I bent.
Fitted my love to the shape of your absence.
Now I’m relearning the sound
of my own voice saying 'enough.'

I did it to myself — but I’m drawing the line.
Won’t let you in this time — 'cause it was never mine to give.
I did it to myself — no more easy roles.
I’ll say no loud — so you finally know.

I said 'it’s fine'…
too many times.

…trained you.