This Is Not Love

[ Lyrics ]

This is not love — just a soft place to crash.

Silence where a conversation should be,
just the hum of the AC and the creak of the bed.
I trace the lines on the backboard with my knee,
memorized the rhythm like a prayer I never said.
You kissed my neck and called it devotion,
but you don’t know my fears, my faith, my mother’s name.
We built a home out of motion,
but we never laid a single frame.

I used to think the way you touched me meant you knew —
but your hands speak a language your heart never learnt.
I don’t need another lover who’s half-curious,
I need someone who sees me, not just what I’m wearing when the lights are shut.

This is not love — just a soft place to crash,
a warm mouth when the world feels cold.
This is not love — just a rebound in the dark,
using my skin to heal a story you won’t tell.

I found your journal underneath the bed,
all poems about freedom, none about us.
You wrote ‘I’m done with chains,’ then said I’d never leave,
but you never asked where I’ve been, what I’ve lost.
We never talk about the morning after,
just how to make the night last longer.
You say ‘Stay,’ but it’s never ‘Stay forever’ —
it’s just ‘Stay ’til the ache gets softer.’

I used to think the way you held me meant you stayed —
but you’re just passing through the room where I was resting.
I don’t want a love that’s half-made,
one that ends when the tension’s left and the tension’s being.

This is not love — just a soft place to crash,
a warm mouth when the world feels cold.
This is not love — just a rebound in the dark,
using my skin to heal a story you won’t tell.

I thought we were fixing something.
Turns out we were just breaking differently.
You didn’t fill the space — you just warmed it.
And I let you, ’cause I was scared to be empty.

This is not love — just a soft place to crash,
no roots, no words, no shared past.
This is not love — I see it now clear,
I was healing through you — but you weren’t healing with me.

…Not love.