Feed Envy

[ Lyrics ]

You got candles, I got deadlines.

You got candles, I got deadlines.

Red-eye flight in my third coffee cup,
editing vocals while her Bali reel uploads.
She’s in a hammock, bare feet in the grass,
I’m in my headspace, praying this track lands.
Got a DM from her—‘Wish you were here’—
irony drips like the sweat in my hair.
She wore linen like armor, no makeup like peace,
I wear gloss and panic, chasing release.

And I don’t want her life, not really, no,
just want to know how it feels to move slow.
To let a morning unfold, not perform,
and not turn each breath into content to mourn.

You got candles, I got deadlines,
daylight savings in my sleepless mind.
You got stillness, I got shifts,
dreams on delay while the city drifts.
I’m proud of the work, I swear that it’s true,
but tonight, I’d trade it all just to bloom in you.

She posted a journal page, ink in her hand,
writing ‘today I just was’ like she planned.
I screenshot the caption, then close it fast—
don’t need that kind of mirror, don’t need that contrast.
My mom said, ‘Slow down, J, just rest for a week,’
like she forgets rent don’t accept a peace breakthrough.
I smile in the frame, but the cracks in my voice
say I’m two weeks from burnout and I’ve got no choice.

And I don’t hate her peace, not even close,
just hate how my worth only blooms when it’s posted.
If I vanish tomorrow, would the world blink twice?
Or just wonder why the content died?

You got candles, I got deadlines,
daylight savings in my sleepless mind.
You got stillness, I got shifts,
dreams on delay while the city drifts.
I’m proud of the work, I swear that it’s true,
but tonight, I’d trade it all just to bloom in you.

Maybe grace isn’t found in the quiet, maybe it’s in the climb,
in hitting send when you’re half-dead inside.
But damn, for a minute, I wish I could lie
in a field with no signal, no reason, no why.

Another post goes up—she’s drinking turmeric tea.
I press play on my verse… and pretend I’m free.

You got candles, I got deadlines,
daylight savings in my sleepless mind.
You got stillness, I got shifts,
dreams on delay while the city drifts.
I’m proud of the grind, I fight for my name,
but I miss being someone who doesn’t need fame.

You got candles… I got this.